August 1, 2010
8:35 am

The Madison group stop in the park was amazing!! A dozen or so people showed up and we all had a great time! An hour early 3 people showed and we talked and killed time. Really sweet people. Then others showed...including GrayDancer! http://www.graydancer.com/ This guy is quite a character. We've met before and he does that Ropecast thing online: http://www.ropecast.net/ Pretty cool stuff. And he even did a "quicky" interview with me.
Maybe there IS something to this whole rumor about Madison Wisconsin being the Rope Capitol of the World!

Went out to dinner with the gang after the class. Had some VERY tasty cheese curds. Good company too. I feel like I made a few new friends.

Then it was off to the Chicago area to attempt something similar there. "Attempt" and "similar" being the key words there as it turns out. Chicago is a big city. Lots of people. Lots of KINKY people. But there is, it seems, a lot of difference between big city groups and smaller decent sized city groups. Or maybe it's not fair to compare Chicago to the Bondage Capitol of the World Madison, Wisconsin.

I'm not sure anyone has noticed but I travel a lot. Have for around 9 years now. I see lots of communities. I see lots of parallels. Some good. Some not so much. One common denominator that almost every presenter and long time bdsm people notice is that in nearly every group of any size that has been established for several years, there has been a major split. Most times the biggest egos clash and split the communities. Half the people going with each ego. Then those two groups spend HUGE amounts of time NOT working together. And that's putting it mildly.

When I came into this world I was bright eyed and amazed and typically overeager. The internet was changing our world hugely. Some good , maybe some bad....but that's not the point right now. Point is...I likened our world to a history changing time...kinda like the gay rights movements of the 60's. I thought...man!..there are enough of us now that we could all pull together to change our world. Stop our persecution, make society see us as more than serial killers and domestic abusers.

Did you know that there are very few if ANY actual "legal" community playspaces in our country? There are many who claim to be legal. Many that think they are legal. But in my research and talking to many people as well as law knowledgeable people, it is not legal anywhere in this country to hit anyone for any reason what so ever. Consensual or not.

Many communities have agreements with local law enforcement because they know we police our people pretty well....as a rule we don't drink or do drugs (I SAID as a rule!) so they agree to leave us alone for the most part.

But we ARE still persecuted! Clubs get raided, events get shut down. We are still portayed as serial killers and murderers and drug users and we go to smoke filled seedy nightclubs and stuff like that.

But when I told people about my idea of us all pulling together to change things...people laughed at me. "BDSM community? Pulling together? Lew! You gotta be kidding! THAT will NEVER happen!!", they said. As I got to know our communities better....I reluctantly...began to agree...

Now I haven't given up completely. But I also haven't come up with a good solution to get us to stop wasting so much time fighting each other and working together.

Education maybe? Everything above I have talked about, to many, many people in the last several years. Many people didn't know our clubs are not legal. Did you? A friendly flogging is against the law people. A caning can get you thrown in jail. Being outed in the nilla world can get you fired from your job. You can lose your kids because of your crazy sex obsessions. All these things STILL happen! Often!

Can't we all just get along?

Anyway, I digressed hugely there. Too much coffee maybe? Righteous indignation? I don't know. Not even sure I spelled that right...lol

Soooo...Chicago. 5 people showed. A really nice couple, a hot Asian babe and a familiar scene person I hadn't seen in a while. Had fun. Small response for a large community...but hey...this WAS last minute...and it WAS Friday...

Maybe I'll try Chicago again sometime....

Oh but wait!!
I almost forgot!
How could I almost forget the best part about my Chicago area visit?!?!!
Lucid Chaos.
We had been corresponding for months and we got together the day before the Chicago thing and had a GREAT time together! We went to Starving Rock State Park and tried to do an outdoor shoot there. The first attempt went badly. The mosquitoes were terrible! We went back to my trailer got the bug spray and went back. But even with 100% deet, the bugs were so bad we couldnt do anything.
So we tried another angle. The "guerrilla" bondage tactic! I tied her torso and arms while she was still in my truck and drove aroound the park looking for cool places. Then I'd help her out, snap some quick shots before anyone came, then put her back in and drive away again giggling like school kids. It was great fun and we even got a couple cool pics. Hope to post some of those soon.




Then we went back n played trailer trash bondage games...lol Like I said...we got along really well. We left a mark on each others lives. Mine on her was more visible...lol



Headed for Nashville now! Just a few minutes ago decided to try for the park thing there. I'll be coming back here in mid October for a Lewbari Weekend so I thought why not stop now to say hi to whoever I can?

I'll let you know how that goes!