Sunday Oct 3, 2010 11:30 am Pensacola, FL

On truth being stranger than fiction
Or:
The Bondage Gods Intervene

People who don't know me may think I made this story up.
Those who DO know me might think I embellished a bit. Often they would be right.
The difference between Roman Greco wrestling at the Olympics and the WWF is embellishment...a little goes a long ways...but it's not really lying right? It just makes a story more interesting.

No embellishment here. As Jack Webb would say "just the facts maam."

Thursday morning I'm driving towards Pensacola, FL. I have a class to teach Saturday evening for the local PALS group. As a side note keep in mind this was set up several months ago.
A couple weeks ago, I got in touch with Sabrina Fox, let her know I was coming out and much to our delight, it turned out that she not only lived near Pensacola but she was having a show of her own at a local club. The same night as I was teaching in fact!
That was both good news and bad news. It meant she couldn't be at my class and that I might be too busy to see her show. But it also meant we should be able to find a time to at least see each other in person again. It had been quite a while.

For those who don't know Sabrina and I had a pretty wonderful little fling a while back. Ok maybe a little more than "little." We got along VERY well for a while. Traveled together often, talked about the future together once in a while. It ended up fading away but we still remain pretty close. Especially emotionally.

So I'm driving in Thursday, I GPS a KOA and start heading towards it. When I'm about an hour away, something clicks in a tiny portion of my pea sized "can't remember shit" brain.

I opened up the GPS again for the KOA address and it says "Lillian, Alabama."
"Hey! I think...Isn't that where Sabrina lives?" I look at the KOA address and it says "county road # _ _. I look up Sabrinas address and it too says "county road # _ _!

So I text her and find out the KOA is 5 minutes from her place! Cool! Coincidence?
Ohhhh noooooo.... Just puzzle piece number 1 in the Bondage Gods jigsaw puzzle. But I didn't know that yet.

We decide to hook up the next day for lunch. Partly because she wants me to get some flyers from her to promote her show at my classes to get some kinksters to come see her. And partly because we like each other a lot still. She'll be bringing her new b/f and I'm looking forward to meeting them both.

I settle into my campground, have a relaxing evening and get on Fetlife to ask the local bdsm gangs what I should do with my extra time in Pensacola. A bunch of them reply and give me good ideas for beaches and food. Good start! Friendly people!

The next day comes - Friday - and I meet Sabrina and her guy for lunch. Before I get there she texts me and says "I look like shit so don't judge."
I get there and she looks fantastic. Better than I remember ever seeing her. Now Sabrina is a good looking woman. I ALWAYS thought she looked great. Even the morning after....lol That says a lot right?
We are so happy to see each other. I meet her guy...he seems very cool. The energy that flows tween me n Sabrina is...I swear...physically palpable. It's like one of those 60's movies where the edges of the movie frame blur a bit, the soft background music plays and everything slows own.
Yes, I'm a romantic at heart...but I didn't expect this. Anyway I'm trying to be cool cause she IS with another guy and I have NO plans to be a homewrecker....again...

She tells me how they are preparing for their big show. He is a DJ and she is doing a suspension show for a basically nilla crowd. There is a tricky spot they are working out concerning the stage space and suspension points. Sounds like they have it worked out but I offer any assistance if they need it.

We ate Mexican, talked for a while...then moved on. She seems so happy...so healthy...vibrant. We were so happy to see each other. When we hugged both hello and goodbye it was hard to let go. She just felt right, smelled right, ya know?

So I went back to my trailer. Prepped for the next days classes.

Got a text from Sabrina. She texted:
"dunno why but since we left I've been bawling like a baby. Why do I only ever cry around you? I think my guy believes I have officially lost it. haha"

I texted:
"Tell him it's two main reasons. 1. You n I have had amazingly, undeniable, emotional journeys together. AND while you hate to cry you know I think it's good for you. So even though we only spent a certain amount of time together I tried to make you believe that your emotions are part of you and that you would be healthier to let em flow. Seems that some of that subtle training stuck with you."

Me again: "2. If you would cry from time to time it would be more like a light, sweet summer rain. Rather than hurricane Sabrina. lol"

Several other texts ensued...fun...light hearted...

BBQ'd a steak for myself that night, relaxed, did some puter work. Then went to visit with the Pensacola BAMS group just for something to do. They were great fun and I feel like I made some new friends.

Next evening I went to the PALS group and set up for teaching. Big class coming! 80 plus people! VERY friendly people! They bought lots of my videos and the classes went very well. I was "on" that night and had em all rolling on the floor with my bad jokes and simulated sexual escapades...lol
I dropped off flyers there for Sabrinas event and found out many people already knew about it and planed on attending. Very cool! So a bunch of us decided to go to dinner since Sabrinas show wasn't till 12:30 am that night.

On the way there I got a text from Sabrina asking how long my longest ropes were. I had her call and found out that the solution they had worked out for her show concerning the suspension points kinda went sour. Yay! I can help! Aww...she is prolly bummed that she can't fix things easily by herself...but I'm REALLY glad I'm here to help her.

Got to the club where her show was and it was just like she said it would be. She warned me that I wouldn't like it. She was very right. Smoke filled, amazingly loud music, bass speakers vibrating my insides into jelly. Got there around 11pm or 11:30 and time passed agonizingly slow. Sabrina showed me what the suspension point problem was and I was sure there was a way we could make it work. Problem was, we couldn't put the points up till midnight and her show started at 12:30. At least there were pretty girls to look at while I waited. LOTS of the bdsm class people came too so that helped. I found excuses to go back to my truck once in a while to get fresh air and stop the thrumming in my head from the music.

So the time comes... we put the points up....test them...kinda shakey but I think it'll work. I see Sabrina going into "show space". A nervous excited energy place that I deal with every single time I perform. I reassure her as much as I can.

Show starts. She looks amazing. Relaxed, calm cool, professional. I'm VERY proud of her. Sabrina never really took lessons from anyone. She was my demo model in the past for several classes and she watched everything everyone ever did with rope. I had no idea she was soaking up as much as she did from me, from other pros, from everyone she ever saw. Then she just jumped on out there and started suspending people. She struggled a bit at first but learned with a speed that humbled most of us.
The show went off without a hitch. Well maybe one small musical glitch that was quickly solved. But the suspensions she did went perfectly. And the points we put up held up just fine.

Ahhhh...sweet success.... It's over now and she comes back to the table I'm at and we hug and say cool things to each other. She is barely keeping from crying. I back off the emotional stuff a tad cause I know she doesn't want to cry in front of everyone. I tell her to keep the extra ropes I used to put up the points....and we hug again and I leave...

I start driving back to my trailer. Feeling a little lonely. But feeling good. Feeling a bit nostalgic.

1:17 am text from Sabrina:
"You saved my life tonight. I know there's no way I can ever repay you...but I'd sure like to try.

I think to myself....now I wanna make her cry.
But why?
Cause I wanna cry?
And can't.
And wish I could?

I text back:
"You don't owe a thing. Scales balance every time you smile at me."

I text again:

"And yes, I did say that to make you cry."

I text again:
"But I mean it too...a lil corny maybe"

I text again:

"The Bondage Gods put us together tonight y'know"


I continue my drive back to my trailer. Long drive this time of night. Emotions roiling...

1:48 I am still driving....
Text from Sabrina:
"You are good at that....the making me cry stuff. I managed to hold it together after you left, but when I got your text I had to run to the bathroom and uh....'change' I think the Bondage Gods like you and me and 'us'.

I text back:
"I think we are pretty lucky people to have each other in our lives...in any capacity"

She texts back:
"I agree...and I'm very grateful."

I text back:
"Mmmhmmmmmm....:)"

I set down my phone. Shouldn't be texting while driving anyway. Especially at this hour.

Radio is on. Still a ways to go on my drive back.
One of my favorite songs of all time comes on.
Bob Segers "Turn the Page"

On a long and lonesome highway
East of Omaha
You can listen to the engine
Moanin' out his one note song
You can think about the woman
Or the girl you knew the night before
But your thoughts will soon be wandering
The way they always do
When you're ridin' sixteen hours
And there's nothin' much to do
And you don't feel much like ridin',
You just wish the trip was through

Here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on the stage
Here I go
Playin' star again
There I go
Turn the page

Well you walk into a restaurant,
Strung out from the road
And you feel the eyes upon you
As you're shakin' off the cold
You pretend it doesn't bother you
But you just want to explode

Most times you can't hear 'em talk,
Other times you can
All the same old cliches,
"Is that a woman or a man?"
And you always seem outnumbered,
You don't dare make a stand

Here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on the stage
Here I go
Playin' star again
There I go
Turn the page

Out there in the spotlight
You're a million miles away
Every ounce of energy
You try to give away
As the sweat pours out your body
Like the music that you play

Later in the evening
As you lie awake in bed
With the echoes from the amplifiers
Ringin' in your head
You smoke the day's last cigarette,
Rememberin' what she said

Here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on the stage
Here I go
Playin' star again
There I go
Turn the page
Here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on the stage
Here I go
Playin' star again
There I go
Turn the page
There I go
There I go

The songs fades away. I turn the radio off. And continue my drive back....